Acceptance. What is it? I think that it all depends on the circumstances.
My old friend the Oxford Dictionary variously sums it up as ä willingness to accept conditions or circumstances”, and also ä willingness or ability to tolerate”.
It is fair for me to say that I have been through a heck of a lot in my personal life over the past 3 years, 6 months and 4 days. Since that day when I separated from my wife and ultimately got a divorce, I have ridden an emotional roller coaster and tried to ease the pain of everything I was feeling by trying to manufacture happiness. I tried to mask it all and pretend that I was resilient and was fighting through it. I had to be strong for my 2 kids and I thought that if I was externally happy then I’d be able to be a good Dad and friend.
Unfortunately, my confidence was misplaced – it in fact it was ever there. My life’s dream of growing old in a happy marriage and raising strong well adjusted kids was shatted and I was desperate to replace that feeling of contentment you get from having someone. As a result of my efforts to manufacture my happiness, I made some seriously misguided and near sighted decisions – financial decisions primarily – that made my life so stressful that it has affected my life to this day. I live from fortnightly payday to fortnightly payday and it is SO stressful knowing that I did this to myself and it has the potential to affect THE REST of my life if I did not take action to change my situation. I was mentally unravelling with the stress I had placed myself under.
You may have heard of the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know then difference.
I knew I had to make changes in my life in order to move on. I had to ACCEPT the mistakes I had made, I had to accept my part in what led to my marriage breakdown, I had to own the responsibility for where my life had gotten to, and above all I had to be a better version of myself for my kids – I had to ACCEPT my true self. How did I do that? I simply allowed myself to like and even love myself for who and how I am. I know that I am not perfect or good at everything – that’s because I’m human. I have different physical, mental, intellectal and emotional strengths to others but they are all a part of ME and I had to tell myself that that was a GOOD thing. There is nothing narcissistic about that. It is not self-indulgent. It is not being a wanker. If you are aware of and ACCEPT your differences and be happy, then life can be so much more rewarding and less stressful.
You don’t have to make others happy, just make yourself happy by accepting the wonderful individual that you are and live a life that is so much better once you do.
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