As the saying goes, you never know what you had until it’s gone. I’ve just returned from dropping my 2 teens and their mother at the airport for a trip to Hawaii. They will be away for 12 days. Whilst I do not envisage them never returning, it is still nonetheless extremely difficult emotionally to see them leave. I know that they love me and will miss me as much as I love and miss them, so that is a great comfort.
One of my absolute favourite songs at the moment is one by Robbie Williams, from which I took the title for this update. Listening to this song, and seeing the words, uplifts me and gives me an amazing feeling that tells me – despite not seeing them everyday any longer – that I have done a great job as a Dad.
Here are some of the words from the song, in case you are not familiar:
Tether your soul to me. I will never let go completely. One day your hands will be strong enough to hold me.
I will not be there for all your battles but you’ll win them eventually. I’ll pray that I’m giving you all that matters so one day you’ll say to me…
I love my life. I am powerful. I am beautiful. I am free. I love my life. I am wonderful. I am magical. I am me.
It is fast approaching 4 years since I separated and had my life’s dream shattered. Not seeing my 2 kids every day absolutely kills me and I am prone to some extremely dark days but as each day passes I am getting better at surviving those crappy moments and they are getting fewer and further between. Time heals all wounds as they say.
I’ve had similar feelings in my work life of late. I was in a job that I enjoyed from a physical perspective but for other reasons I was not enjoying it (thanks management!) so I had to decide if the $30k in shift penalties was more important than my mental health and overall happiness, which in turn might effect my mood around the kids. By happenstance I stumbled upon an internal vacancy at work for a training position. It sounded like the perfect job for me on so many levels so I put in for it, not really thinking I was a show of getting chosen, but to my surprise I WAS chosen and despite some initial difficulties (of a primarily financial nature) I am now in a job where I can make a difference to so many people in a very positive way, including myself!
All this change has told me that I am stronger and much more resilient than I gave myslef credit for. Added to that has been the most amazing support I have received from the very first minute that I walked in the door. I have been accepted for who I am and after having a marriage end because that wasn’t done has rewarded me with an enormous uplift in my emotional health.
It may have taken some time for me to realise that …. I love my life, I am powerful, I am beautful, I am free. I love my life, I am wonderful, I am magical, I am me.
Health-your-self.com 