Life can be and often is damn hard. We all have our bad times, misfortunes and sadly some absolute tragedies. These events test us to the limits of our human emotional, physical and psychological beings. They can break us. The secret to surviving these darkest of times is – as hard as it may be – to accept your new circumstances and carry on as normal as possible as soon as possible. That may take some time, often years, but you will make it through in the end.
What is it that you are struggling with? Relationship breakdown? Stressful situation at work? Financial difficulties?
Whatever the cause of your struggle, whatever it is that is causing you anxiety and perhaps physical pain, stay strong. I know it is easy for me to say but I have lived, and am living, through tough times every day and the fact that my present situation is for the greater part due to my own doing out of a lack of self-care makes it doubly hard to get through.
My struggle is financial. I’ve been separated for over 4 years and divorced for almost 2 so I am well and truly over – and accepting – of the fact that I am a single father. And you know what – I love it. For the sake of my 2 kids, it is far better that they have 2 parents who are apart and getting on with life and dare I say much happier that way. The flip side of that is I have had to set up home on my own but I knew that would be one way of re-inventing myself and finding my way as a single parent.
I was fortunate to get some money out of my divorce settlement but after setting up home for myself and the kids, I found myself thinking that I needed something extra in my life, that I still wanted somebody in my life. I wanted to quickly re-establish what I had and what I thought I needed. Consequently I made an enormous mistake which I put down to a rash emotional decision and which has now led me to the financial tightrope on which I now walk. I never allowed myself the time to accept and be happy with my situation and rashly did things that devalued the new person I was. I never gave myself a chance to be happy with my new lot in life.
If I could have just ONE wish, it would be for me to have that time over again, to take the time to see value in myself and not feel that I needed anyone to complement me. I was effectively trying to buy what I had lost and could not see the true situation until it was too late. By that time it was too late and my money was gone.
After all that, which happened 2 years ago, I have found myself here at this time and under these circumstances and having a terrible financial struggle – the greatest consequence of which is that I fear I will not be able to adequately provide for my kids. I know that I made a terrible mistake. I accept that this is of my doing but with the full knowledge that I WILL GET THROUGH THIS and things WILL get better. With the support of amazing family members and friends, and with a more than generous helping of renewed self worth and self belief, I am slowly getting to a point where – whilst I still don’t have much money and I can’t afford to do 98% of the things I’d love to do with my kids, I have taught myself and by extension my kids that you don’t need money to be happy, only to survive.
I am all the stronger for my struggles.
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