April Remembrances

I believe that all things happen for a reason, and that there are many things to be grateful for and that are worth remembering or commemorating.

I am not talking about anything materialistic. These are meaningful personal, human remembrances. Events and people that took place in my life and for various reasons bring levels of joy and also sorrow to me on these dates each year.

On 15 April 2015, my father passed away. Dad was a product of his generation, which sounds a little dismissive, but he was born in 1927 in a tough neighbourhood in Sydney and had lost his natural and his stepfather by the age of 15. It fell to Dad to raise his 2 younger siblings and be the ‘responsible man of the house’. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been. He was married to Mum for 64 years and they had been together in total for about 70 years, and that devotion – and the hard work needed to raise 7 kids togther – is what I remember most. He was a hard man at times but knowing what he went through in life inspires me to this day. I was happy to be at his bedside and holding his hand when he finally passed. I cherish that every day, and try to be half the father he was.

17 April 2004 – that was my wedding day. 14 years and 5 days later, my dream was shattered. I was ushered into the life of a single Dad, in my opinion unceremoniously dumped for another who was seemingly more suitable. The way that it all happened, I have sadly retained a level of angst and biitterness, but with each passing day I am trying to get past that. I know that I played my part in how things panned out, and if I am being honest then the way each of us are as people was probably a portent to what ultimately culminated in our failed marriage. It was only a failure on a personal level between my ex and I. We were blessed with 2 beautiful children who are my sole focus now. As long as they are happen, so am I.

21 April 2023 = last Friday. It was my final day of work, before heading off into retirement. A truly great day, because from that day forward I can devote my time to doing what’s best for me – more time to be with the kids, more time to focus on my own health and wellbeing, something that has taken an undeserved back seat for way too long.

22 April 2018 was the day that my dream was shattered. Whilst it was initially SO hard to get through those first few years, I now see that what happened was for the best – for all of us. The kids now have 2 parents who are happier apart than they were together and, despite my shortcomings at times in dealing with the way it panned out, I am tru ly ‘happily divorced’.

25 April – ANZAC Day. I am forever grateful to all those men and women who served and paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we who live in the present can enjoy the freedoms that we sadly take for granted all too often. It is hard to imagine the level of courage it took to place themselves in such perilous situations yet do so willingly for the sake of the greater good. They were, and remain, the truest heroes of our time.

And so we come to today, 30 April. On this day in 2016, my dear Mum passed away. We had all thought she would go before Dad, because she had dementia and other health issues that probably suggested so but she was strong – you try having 9 children and seeing your first 2 die, then have another 2 die in adulthood through uncommon causes. Mum’s fight, spirit and our long chats when I was a struggling teen have kept me strong through many a challenging time. I miss her every day, as I do Dad. I am who I am because of them, and I would not change a thing.