Hello there! It’s been a while since I’ve been on, but all is well.
I’ve not been idle, though. Lots of self-reflection (it’s what I do!) and trying to figure out both the important and the inane. Whilst I am of the firm belief that self-reflection and a good sense of self is important, it is something that we can all lose sight of.
For instance, I know that I am not the first man to ever get divorced, much less have been left shattered by it, at least in the beginning, and for the first couple of years. What I have learnt is that the old adage that “Time heals all wounds.” is ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! I am pretty good at mulling over things – usually inane and UNimportant stuff like my golf swing – and trying to ‘fix’ them when all I needed to do was accept that there are a lot of things about myself, the world and my place in it that I cannot change so I am s-l-o-w-l-y getting better at putting effort into the things that really matter, especially my children (read mid to late teens, and all that comes at those ages!).
My daughter is more than halfway to 19 and has one final school exam in 2 days, then that chapter of life will close and it will inevitably leave a void but the way I see it, it will also present – especially for her – an opportunity to live a little (she already has things planned and booked!!) and it will also give me a sense of what it will be like when my son (16yo) will be in the same position in another 2 years. That in and of itself is scary, to think that I will have to let go completely and allow them to make their own choices and live their own lives.
What I can now see it as, also, is a chance for ME to let myself live a lot more than I have felt comfortable doing, even though I have been a single parent for 6.5 years. It is not the fault of the kids that their Mum and I are no longer together, however once they are off doing their own thing it gives me the chance to truly enjoy my own time and space and at the same time be eager to know how they get on in life (did someone mention grandkids?) and if they are doing well (or not) than I will know that I WAS a good role model for them, that I helped teach them resilience and that they can cope with anything life throws at them. Heaven knows that I was not very good at that in the not so distant past, but like my kids, I have developed my own resilience, my own inner strength that carries me through each and every day.
As I have said to the kids since they were little, they can do anything. So can I!
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