It’s tough to stand up for yourself in these modern times, with all kinds of pressure to perform to a particular standard or for society to influence what “appropriate behaviour” should be.
Since my teen years I have found it difficult to ‘fit in’ and have shortchanged myself as to how I deem myself as a person. I have always found it easier to not offend people or to not argue or to not place much value on my personality. I wanted to be what a lot of other people around me were like, rather than accepting who and how I was.
I saw a quote recently which said that “what other people think of me is none of my business.” That is easier said than done when you went through your formative years not getting much if anything in the way of positive feedback and reinforcement from your Dad. However, when I stop and really think this through, my Dad lost his natural AND his stepfather by then age of 15 and he became the ‘man’ of the house so he never had that nurturing guidance much if not at all himself.
I am not sure what it is that started me down this psychological path in my mid teens but now that I have a 17 year old son I am wanting to be there for him and guiding him through the issues all teenage boys face and endure. I am actively seeking help through a psychologist to see what I can glean from talking about this. One thing I have done for myself a lot more, and a lot better, recently is thinking more positively about myself. I know I am a good person who was raised to be polive, well mannered and respectful TO OTHERS but I am now seeking to be that way towards myself.
To achieve that end, I have thought of the analogy of having a stick inside your shirt. It makes you walk taller, which helps with your posture which in turns help you breathe more deeply and as a result be more relaxed. It breeds confidence, and that is all I am after.
Has anyone seen my stick?
Health-your-self.com 