Think first

Today, Sunday 10 October , is World Mental Health Day.

There is the old saying that to really know someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. A condition of being human is that we are all different, we have all had differing experiences in life and varying levels of fortune, or misfortune. How we handle these experiences and learn from them will differ considerably depending on many things including influences during our formative years. Some people are naturally confident, outgoing and gregarious and seemingly always smiling and happy. Then there are others who are introverted and keep things inside. That’s me. Now which of these 2 types of person or personality do you think would suffer from anxiety? Just the introverted and quiet one? The answer would be no. It might just be that the outgoing person is better at hiding what their life is like and what if any difficulties they are going through.

If you see a friend – or indeed anyone – who seems sad, withdrawn or down chances are they are just having a bad day. Chances are also that something far worse than a ‘bad day is the cause of their apparent low mood. The hardest thing for you to do is to ask them how they are going, because I can guarantee that for a lot of people – and myself definitely included – the hardest thing for them is to SEEK your help. It’s easy to walk away.

Mental health is to some degree a stigma, and it can be very embarassing for anyone to admit that they don’t have their shit together, whatever the reason. If someone you see, whether you know them or not, is looking a bit down then what harm can be done by asking them if you can help or just to talk about things? It is often the release of all that built up anxiety and fear that can prove to be the tipping point towards that person feeling better about themselves and in a more positive frame of mind. You never know how much of a difference such a random and thoughtful act can make!

Depression is an imposing state of mind. The psychological definition of depression from the Oxford Dictionary states that it is Ä state of extreme dejection or morbidly excessive melancholy”. This can be brought on by any number of things – losing a job, losing a loved one, financial stress. There are many instances of supposedly successful people over the years who have ended up succumbing to their inner demons. When this happens the world is often in a state of shock because that person seemed happy and/or to “have it all”. How can we judge that? We didn’t live that person’s life. We didn’t have the temptations, pressures and influences that these people had during their supposedly idyllic existences. As such there is no rhyme or reason as to who may suffer from poor mental health in their lifetime, whether it be periodically or throughout their lives.

I’ve had many instances throughout my own life, and at times still do, where I have been feeling emotionally crappy for whatever reason. Is it low self-esteem or is there a greater or more powerful reason for this? You will never know unless you ask me how I’m feeling. It might take me a while to open up, but rest assured, if you do ask I’ll be grateful that you did. Society has over the generations painted men as the strong gender and that it is weak for men to show their feelings. This attitude is hard to disengage society from but it is very important that it happens. For anyone, male or female, to admit they have issues and have the courage to seek help is huge.

Just don’t make the mistake of assuming all is well and that I’m okay until you borrow my shoes.