We all know the phrase that says “everything happens for a reason”. Whilst this might make light of someone’s discomfort during a difficult time, I believe that it is a truism that can’t be ignored or underestimated.
Everyone suffers a hardship of some kind in their life, whether it be losing a loved one, enduring heartbreak at the end of a relationship or financial and economic stress. Nobody chooses to have these events happen to them but it is the way that one handles these difficulties and takes learnings from each event that formulates the response to and recovery from them. Each lesson learned helps shape a part of you and your psychological health and well being.
I recently attended the funeral of a good friend who I had known for 40 years. It was sad to have to say goodbye but it was a wonderful celebration of their life. The jigsaw piece here is all the memories I can recall over those 40 years, and being grateful for them.
Whilst losing a good friend is hard, it is not as hard as losing a family member. I have unfortunately lost both my parents and also 2 siblings, both to unnatural causes. As time goes by the pain fades but you always miss them, and there is always a part of them in you that remains alive just by keeping them in your thoughts.
As well as losing close family members, I have endured a difficult marriage that ultimately ended in separation and divorce. Our 2 children were still quite young when this happened and the dream I had always held onto of having a loving family around me every day was shattered. My kids were and even more so now ARE my world and when I left it broke me emotionally but I had to remain strong for them to help guide them through life’s challenges. The jigsaw piece of me that is being their Dad became stronger, had a sharper focus and as time went by and I gradually accepted the new life situation I was in, I could become a better person and the best Dad that they deserve to have.
My life’s jigsaw puzzle has changed dramatically over the years. Whilst there were all of the difficult times I have just mentioned, the one constant thing that kept me going was the search to find all the things that I wanted to be and that would make me the best and most complete version of myself. Happiness, acceptance, contentment, self love and the ability to forgive. Slowly but surely I have come to find all of these things, albeit at different times and at different speeds. The ability to to forgive has been and is the hardest, and is like the final piece of the puzzle that just does not want to seem to fit!
I’m 60 years of age and I feel like the experiences I have endured and the self discovery that has ensued has given me the feeling that I have the balance, perspective and positivity in my life that could see my live for another 60 years. That may or may not happen but like all completed jigsaw puzzles, all the pieces are there for any amount of great times to come.
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