Last weekend, my son went to a party at the home of one of the students in his English class. He had told me about the party several weeks ago, but I could tell that he was nervous about going.
I asked him why he was nervous, even though I was positive I knew the answer. I told my son that I was always nervous at his age (he’s 18) whenever I got invited to a party, which wasn’t all that often.
My son told me that he would not know all of the people that had been invited to the party and was nervous about that. I told him to just be himself, but was not too sure if that advice was particularly helpful. My son is very self-conscious and I could tell that he was concerned about whether he fit in or be interesting enough to the others at the party.
Looking back on my own experiences, if my Dad had told me to just ‘be myself’ I’m almost certain that I would not have gone to any parties! From my early teens, I really struggled big time with my self image and self confidence. I know now that I was just a normal kid but for whatever reason, I believed that ‘normal’ would not cut it when it came to making friends. I wanted to be like other young men, not the one I was. Why was that? I know now that I had made huge assumptions about whether or not other people REALLY cared about what I did. I also made huge assumptions that what I was interested in and did in my spare time was uninteresting to others, so I didn’t even try to have conversations with other young people.
My son is, thankfully, more sociable than I was at his age. Whether that is a modern or just a generational thing I am not sure. Wondrously, less than an hour after I dropped him off at the party and before I had even made it home, he texted me to say that he might stay the night if that was okay with me. He clearly was having a good time and was comfortable being around the other people at the party and was willing to at least consider stepping outside of his comfort zone. I was SO proud of him because he had shown the courage to go to the party in the first place and was then doubling up on that courage by considering staying. That was something I believe I would not have thought to do myself at that age.
So, it would seem that whilst my son was to a degree cast in my image, he has grown up so much. He seems to be slowly finding confidence in himself despite the pressures of Year 12 exams and the ongoing nature of growing into a young man and all that it entails. He knows that I am always there for him, and given that we share a few similar traits I can only hope that I can guide him further on his path to being a strong, confident and independent young man.
He’s got this, and thankfully so much sooner in life than I did! For that, he should be very proud. I know I am of him.
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